RJ was born on June 8, 2009, and from the very beginning of his life, he faced challenges that many children never had to face. Once RJ became school age, his father and I were told that he would never live on his own and that he would remain in life skill classes and would always need extra support in school and in his daily life.

But RJ had other plans. With the love, support, and determination of his parents and loved ones, RJ defeated the odds. He moved from a life skills classroom to a self-contained classroom to having a one-on-one support person during middle school. When he entered high school, he no longer needed a one-on-one. He learned to advocate for himself, communicate his needs, and speak up to his teachers and other school staff. Watching him become more independent was one of the things that made us most proud as his parents.

RJ was strong-willed, passionate, loving, and protective. He was a fighter, and he believed in himself. He didn't like seeing people treated unfairly, bullied, or made to feel like they were less than anyone else. He had a heart for people who were struggling or being misunderstood. He wasn't perfect, but he was RJ—and I loved every part of him.

RJ tried a variety of sports, but eventually found his passion in MMA. He fell in love with the sport and created another family at Pomfret Jiu Jitsu & MMA and 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu Indianapolis. RJ would go to school and then attend MMA class, all while keeping his grades up. One day, he came home and told us that his MMA coaches encouraged him to try wrestling at school to help develop his technique. He listened to them and joined the Purdue Polytechnic North wrestling team.

There was a time when RJ was going to school, wrestling, and attending MMA classes while maintaining a 3.0 GPA. His father and I always instilled in him that school came first, and RJ took that seriously. He once looked at me and said, “Mom, I am not going to be a dumb jock. I am also going to be an engineer.” That was RJ—he wanted to be strong, but he also wanted to be smart, successful, and independent. He dreamed of becoming a famous MMA fighter and traveling the world. He believed there was more for him, and he worked toward it.

As his mother, I know there was so much more to him than the challenges he faced. I knew his heart. I knew his humor, his determination, his passion, and the way he cared about the people he loved. I saw the young man he was becoming and the future he believed was waiting for him.

To me, RJ will always be my baby, my son, and a piece of my heart that I carry with me every day.  I want people to know RJ for the life he lived, not simply for the way his life ended. I want his name to continue to stand for something meaningful. My hope is that through his legacy, another young person will feel protected, believed in, encouraged, and reminded that their life has value.

That is my way of loving my son forward.